This person is amazing:

And that's all I have to say tonight.
xo

Superheros.

I've been thinking about superheros. Knights in shining armor. Men in masks. People who save the day.

Humans are so obsessed with people who save the world. Superheros. Vampires (The good ones) Wherewolves, Shadowhunters, Superman, Men bitten by radioactive spiders...the list goes on.

Sometimes I wonder if it's in our genetics. Woven in the center of our being. The desire for a person who will risk all and fight the battles to save us. Girls dream of boys who will whisk them away from the quarters they're trapped in. Boys make helmets out of milk jugs in hopes to be the knight who slays the dragon. We're obsessed.

Sometimes I wonder why someone doesn't do it. Why doesn't someone design a cape and go out and fight the bad guys. There's enough inventions in the world to make it possible I suppose. But I wonder if they all know. Just one person can't be the hero of the world. They can't possibly save everyone.

So why do we pine over the fictional heros? Why can't we get over them? Why do we even fill our minds with their fantastical feats?

I think it's in our blood. The blood that runs in us. The blood that pumps through our beating hearts. It's the blood that saved the world. He's a super hero, you know. He came and saved us from the villain. But I think we sometimes forget because He doesn't wear a cape. I think the real Hero spends every day with us. He just doesn't wear a mask.

Thanks Jesus.
For saving the world.
xo

I want to dedicate this post to Harajuku fashion.

Just because I think it's so fun to look at. My friend is dressing up in Japanese fashion for halloween and she's pretty much in love with all things Japanese at the moment...including anime. I can't relate....but I think the clothing and accessories are interesting.

America's emo fashion is pretty tame in comparison. But Audrey Kitching may bring America around to join Japan in their fashion endeavors...But I'm going to have to wake up a lot earlier in the morning to make myself look so...fantastical. For now I'm just going to keep up my tame fashion ways.... ;)

I kinda wish I had pink hair right now though....

xo

What if?

"Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through what I could've done better but what good do 'what ifs' do?"

My friend posted this on facebook today. (I told you there's inspiration on that crazy website...) I believe there's a lot of wisdom in that statement.

Life is full of things we regret. Because we're human. The result of those choices we're not so fond of are the questions that start with "what if..." There's a lot of dangerous things inside a "what if." I for one, can think of a long list of things I'd like to change. I could ponder and think about it and wonder how different my life would be right now if I had made the right choices or simply just different choices. Or actually just made a choice instead of procrastinating. But. What will that do? If I dream about it enough, can I change my past? Can I transport to a different life's path? The only thing that is really being accomplished when I lay on my bed and wonder is....my lack of sleep. And an upset stomach.

Wishing and wondering and regretting.

Choosing to learn and move forward is the bravest thing to do. It's letting go of your 'what if' and taking hold of something else.  To know that you're still on a journey that's taking you somewhere. Knowing you've messed up, but knowing it's going to be alright.

God's like a GPS. That's what my friend tells me. She says that when we make the wrong turn, God just redirects us so that we still end up exactly where He wants us. And I think she's right.

Let go and trust. He's big enough to get you where you need to be. And fix the things in the past. He's the only one who can reach back there and change the way it effects you.

 I mean. Hello? He's God. 
xo

My brain is sleepy...therefore, the below post is boring...

            

This is a little what my evening has looked like today.

Hooray for costumes. I'm not sure how the Halloween events will plan out... but I'm excited about wearing feathers anyway. Even if I sit at home watching tv and eating peanut m&m's . 

My love interest has recently purchased a video camera for his laptop. Which means I've skyped him three nights this week! Each skype date only lasted somewhere around thirty minutes...but I've seen his face more this week than I have in a while. It's so fun. He's a sweetheart. 

When I'm married I want to be one of those cute couples. You know. The ones that are funny and sweet and everyone wants to hang out at their house. The ones that everyone gags at because no one should be that happy. But then, everyone wants to be that couple... But I'm not married right now, so it's fine. Just daydreaming..ya know...what I do best. ;)

How cute is this?? 

That's a wrap for tonight. Sorry for my lack of creativity and lack of posts. My heads been a bit empty...and I'm too sleepy..

Time for bed! xo

My love interest plays on the drums so hard, his fingers bleed...but that's a sidenote.

It's a funny thing. Music.

It's power. A tool that influences people. It can put someone at ease. Excite them. Scare the living daylights out of them. Make a foot tap. A head nod.

The tinkles of the piano keys. The heavy beat of the drums. The mixture of the sounds combined together creating a melody that can transport people. Change the atmosphere.Put words to the melody and you're in trouble. Those words will find their way into your brain and make a home there. Years later, you'll hear that song and you'll sing along. It's lyrics filed away... somewhere up there.

 Musicians have a lot of power. Power to influence people. Their thoughts. Their feelings. Their day. To define parts of someone's lives. Touch the heart. Bring people together and create friends.  Music can snap someone out of a trance. Or the sounds trickling out of the speakers could help someone wallow deeper in their own self-pity.

If I were to ever be so musically inclined to produce melodies...I would consider it an honor. And I would hope that I'd use the gift wisely. To influence people in a beautiful way.

For now I'll just keep humming...

I am well aware that I need to get ready for work...

Good morning.

It's eleven fifty-four in the A.M. So. Technically I am still allowed to call this space in time "morning."

I sat in bed, eyes scratchy from being so tired, with a book in my hand until nearly 3AM last night. The battles were too intense...I couldn't put the book down. What if the dragon really did kill the hero? What if the monster won?
It turns out the bad guy escaped (GASP!), but the knight in shining armor also escaped. (Cue relieved sigh.)
And then.
The book ended.
So, now, thanks to the creative and captivating mind of the author...I will be going out and buying the sequel.
I have no choice. I must find out what happens next...

Sidenote. I am happy to inform you that I have decided what I am going to dress up as for the October festivities. I'll leave you hanging in suspense for now, though. But I am psyched! Eeek!

On another note. I am convinced I am dating Adventure. My love interest is bursting with ideas and dreams. And when I say bursting...I mean it. He's splitting at the seams. Entrepreneur goals, endless career ideas. Spilling out. All over the place. You can't go close to the man without getting drenched in his creativity. If he lived to see a hundred years, I don't know if he could accomplish everything he's got pented up inside. Just because there's so much.

People like that are contagious. They make you want to dream bigger and think outside of yourself. Maybe you really can do things that the majority of people are afraid to do. With enough determination and drive and trust in Jesus (that's a big one), the almost incomprehensible sketches in your head can escape the confines of your mind and step out and become buildings you can touch, see, open the door and walk in. It's a beautiful thing to think about. It can be scary. But, in the end, that's what we're called to do, isn't it? To do that which looks impossible? To be what we thought we couldn't be. Because, though we can't see it, it's already there. The sketches in our head are already standing out in front of us. We just have to open our minds and paint them so others can see them. Because we can do the impossible things. We were created to. Because the blood that runs in us is the blood that conquered the world. Our hearts beat to a rhythm that God designed. He continually calls us to be what we can't see. But He can see it. He sees us at our full potential. Uncovering mysteries, being fearless, and walking as kings and queens. Reigning over the earth and walking in dimensions we can't see with our blinded eyes.

He's called us to dream bigger dreams. Love with more compassion. Walk on water. Live. Outside of the confines of our minds. Inside His dreams.

We can defeat the dragon. In this book. We don't have to wait for the sequel to come out.

Loves. xo

 

 

I've been swimming..

Today was one of those days. Where you wake up with lots of thoughts swimming in your head. A lot of them. Swimming. 

I put some to paper.

Some in a message to a friend.

And the others I let float around in my little head.

I went to work and read some posts by a beautiful writer who loves her little girls so much that I wish that I could hold them and love them too. She transforms words in such a way that you feel exactly how she does. And you want to cry when she cries. And laugh when she laughs. 

People are so beautiful.

God is beautiful. He made so many incredible people. I'm in awe of His beauty. His love. His creation. 

I just feel really blessed. God has placed beautiful people in my life. Life hasn't been easy. But no one ever said it would be. On the contrary. They promise that it will be hard. Trials will come. But. Have hope. And so, I hope. I take hold of it. Because, though I don't know what's about to happen next, I know the end. 

And I know it's beautiful. 

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me; to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit. 

-Dawna Makkova

I'm a busy woman.

So. This weekend My love interest came and went. I must say, we had some fun. 

The following are a couple pictures of the 2-day-fiasco.

(Goth Prom)

(the fair)

I didn't cry when we parted ways..surprisingly. But I had a migraine and a stomach-ache (from the cotton candy from the fair or from the goodbyes...not sure which was the cause..) to keep me preoccupied for the remainder of the night after his plane flew away. Now I just have to wait for Thanksgiving to roll around to say hello again..

While I wait I plan to:

-Work. A lot. Which shouldn't be hard...I've been working two jobs all week..

(Disclaimer: I don't work at Starbucks. and I'm not a doll. but sometimes I wish I did and was.)

-Paint. I've had a painting swimming around in my head recently and I need to put it on paper. I just haven't released it yet. I also have a painting I need to finish....I've neglected it. So it's sitting against my wall looking very sad.

(Art by Elsie Flannigan. I'm in love with her creativity. She's amazing)

-Read. I haven't been reading as frequently lately (I've been too busy working...ha) so it's taking me a very long time to finish the one book that I have been reading. Actually. Now that I think about it. I've only had the book for maybe a week and a half. But that seems like a long time... ha.

-Research wedding things. 

Whoa.

 Calm down. 

I'm not getting married.

 But my brother is. In five months. I have been hired on to figure out invitations and such....We'll see what kind of deals I can find..

-Buy a new computer. As of the past year, I've been using my mom's or my brothers because mine is....dying of old age. It's time to adopt a new one. Mac, anyone?

-Figure out what I'm going to be for Halloween! So far I've come up with:

Katy Perry. The only reason I've put her on the list is because I could wear anything 50's related and get away with it. But I could just as easily decide to be a woman from the 50's. Which would be easier...since my hair is orange and not Katy's black.

Ke$ha. Because I want to do crazy things to my face with make up.

A mermaid. I have orange and blue hair, so I'm already on my way. Growing fins would be my biggest obstacle. And I'm not really keen on just wearing shells on my chest... But I think this is my favorite idea so far...

An Indian. Because I want to wear feathers and paint my face.

A superhero. Batman? Robin? Batgirl? My love interest voted Jean Grey. But her clothes are painted on...So I'm not in favor of his vote. haha.

So. Those the objects of my attention as of right now. Also. The fact that I need to leave for work in less than an hour and I haven't even started getting ready for the day is also making it's way to the front of my attention right now. So without further ado. 

I'm going to go fix my hair.

xo

I was a blur.

This photo portrays myself really well. It especially exemplifies the way that I felt at the time of the photo. And how I've been up to recently. I can remember very little from the summer of '09 and up 'til a couple months ago. I, of course, remember moments with my love interest. And all my job hoppings. And random happenings in my life. But mostly all I can remember is being depressed, broken and...lost. I moved home very unsure of myself. Whereas just a few months prior, I was very confident, incredibly happy and I knew what I wanted. But when your heart breaks....it can shatter everything you know....including what you know about yourself. I lost trust in myself and stopped believing in me. Everything I had once thought became a question. I became a blur. And I was drowning in my own misery.

Slowly your heart heals. There are scars, of course. When anyone's heart is ripped into two, piecing it back together takes time and work. And that faint pink mark where the skin was mended will possibly always be there. But there's always scar medication you can apply to erase the last traces of the reminder.

I've learned a lot in the past year. About myself, about God and about others. Though I've healed and learned, I still have problems doubting myself. And trusting has become something that takes a lot more effort. But Jesus knew about this. He's always brought Proverbs 3:5-6 to my memory, time and time again, all growing up. I could never figure out why this was so important. Until I lost trust in everything. And now I know why He kept reminding me to trust Him. Because He made the stars. He feeds the sparrows. He'll take care of me. And apply the scar medication on my heart's cracks.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding.

 In all your ways  acknowledge Him,

 and He will direct your path. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

You were meant for amazing things.

Take a listen to this pretty song by Sleeping At Last.

Umbrellas
I’ll make you mine if you would have me.
With a silver ring that will hug you tight,
Our life begins.
Our life begins with this.

I’ll prove my love if you would let me.
Over and over and over again.

We’ll bring a child into this world
And we’ll say the one thing
Everyone should hear:

You were meant for amazing things.

Give me your hand, it’s time.
It’s time to show new eyes their home.
When fences divide our land,
I would catch bullets with my bare hands.

Because you were meant for amazing things 

My thoughts are full tonight.

   Good evening. It's been a little while since I sent my thoughts into space. So I think I better toss some out there. Ya know....Because there isn't enough blogs and articles and miscellaneous things on the internet as it is...

First of all.
  My love interest is coming home. This. Friday. I'm really excited to finally see his face again. To hold his hand and laugh and completely be myself with someone who accepts me just as I am. This is a shout out to him. He's absolutely incredible.

  However. Even in my excitement..I'm subconsciously preparing myself for Monday. Everyone dislikes Mondays. But I will especially loathe it next week. Because, although Friday brings joy, Monday will bring tears. And I will have to say goodbye...again. (This, sadly, detracts from the excitement of Friday...I'm having a bit of a hard time letting myself get excited because it...which is silly, I know. I need to straighten up.) Last time I said goodbye, I was choking on my tears, my eyes were bloodshot and I knew everyone at the airport could see the evidence of my sadness. But we all do it. And we all survive. So survive, I will.

Another note.
  My insane dreams have slowly started to fade out. I think it's because I've not been reading the past few days. A large book has currently resided in my bag since Saturday. It's just begging for me to crack it's spine and have someone come live in it's adventure. I think tomorrow morning sounds like a good day to explore a new city, a new world, a new book.

   Artists are so inspiring. Writers. Painters. Seamstresses. Musicians. Dreamers. All of them.

   I went to the fair this Sunday with my family and my artist friend. And lots of kids that I adore. (They'd probably appreciate it if I called them adults....they are nearing the end of their minor-lives. But I get a kick out of calling them my children.) One word of advice. Never look the fairies in the eye.

One last thought before I rest my head.
   I'm one of those people who get addicted without even trying. I've always been obsessed with one thing or another. It's part of my personality and the traits that follow it. Or so psychologists say. My current obsession, I've realized, is reading. Anyone surprised?.... Me either. I wonder what will be next..

That's a wrap for tonight. Rest easy kids.
xo

Happy October 1st!

This year has really flown by.....in those slow sluggish ways. What I mean is, each day and week has passed by as slow as a sloth, but looking back...I can see that we've covered a lot of ground. October 1st. I can't believe it. But, hooray!


I heard a rumor of some sort of pumpkin shortage. Which is sad. I hope there's enough to go around. I want to buy one and carve it, just for fun (Not that it's a tradition of mine. I've only carved a pumpkin once before) but I want to wait until everyone else buys theirs. That way I don't steal from anyones October-happiness.

So. On a completely different note. I've been reading. A lot. Not just happy-go-lucky-romance books. Fighting and somewhat-sci-fi madness kind of books. And I love them. But I fear that I've become some-what of a hermit. Whenever life gets boring (which is...always) I pull out my book and read and find my home and my life somewhere else. Sounds a little pathetic, huh?

I know. I think so too.

Because of all this reading and having so many adventures, (Adventures that, of course, leak into my dreams. Therefore, I'm assuming that my mind is so bored with my current life's work that it's pouring all the excitement in places I cannot reach. Like dreams.) I've started wishing I was born at another place and time. Future mostly (I am reading sci-fi after all) but I was thinking about it yesterday. My dreams of adventure and different places and different times. Regardless of wherever I am....I'd be thinking the same thing. If I was living my early-adult-hood in 2090, I would be reading books by Nicholas Sparks and wishing I lived in 2010. What can I say? The grass is always greener....somewhere else. But really. It's not. It's all the same. Different scenarios, yes. Different times, yes. Different people, yes. But ultimately...it's life. And after a couple of weeks (or months) no matter where you are in the world.....every scenario you choose becomes..."life." We become used to it and it becomes every day. So, I think it's time I decided to live in the present and be happy about. And make the most of the life surrounding me.

Until Time Travel works anyway...