Pick up your feet, son.

I'm sad to announce that I may be hearing less from the love interest. He's starting a new school tomorrow which means harder work, longer days and less free time. And that will be used up by sleeping and studying.  I'm super bummed because as the time goes by, the harder all this waiting gets.

I may be on the verge of crying all the time....but I'm going to keep pushing on. I wish all the lies people told me about time "flying by" would magically come true. Because time is dragging it's heavy feet...

 On a lighter note.

My brother is getting married. Tomorrow.
I can't believe it.
My big (younger) brother is grown up. He's flown the nest and is moving up in the world. I'm so proud of him. He's such an amazing young man and he's so great. His almostwife is the luckiest woman in the world.  Hooray for weddings and new families and new steps in life.

Well. That's all. I've got a migraine brewing.
I hope time picks up it's feet and starts running....I'm ready to see the love interest. And I hope it drags tomorrow for the brother and the little bride...and that it's super special.
Cheers! xo

At night I sometimes get sad.

But after a while I remember that waiting is worth it. And that I'm very lucky and blessed.

And that everything is going to be okay.

xo

P.S. Super duper duper jealous of that hair. Please, head, grow long hair. Please.

Sometimes tears are good for you.

The sushine today is too.  I could use a good quality hug right now. But the sun rays will do for now.
Cheers. xo

Still wishing for the beach...

Style Crush.

Maxi Dresses. I can't get enough. I'm on the verge of obsessed. I've searched the web for hours trying to find one that will drag on the floor for an affordable price...still searching...

xo

Dreaming...

counting down...

Tentatively forty-nine days 'til I see the love interest again. We're almost there! Right?

We've been having quality skype dates lately, and it's been great. Almost like we're really hanging out. Almost.

I'm watching Aladin right now. Thanks for the classics, ABC Family.

Hope your sunday is going splendid. 

Sorry for the dull posts as of late. I'll try and get my thoughts running high speed again soon. I'm enjoying doing less right now.
Cheers! xo

I carry your heart...

I carry your heart with me(I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) I want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) 

-Edward Estlin Cummings

Take your vitamins, love.

And while you're at it, take a listen to Vitamin String Quartet. They make some pretty music. They almost make me like Lady Gaga songs....almost.
Cheers! xo

Something like trust..

As I've stated earlier....I've been freaking out a bit and leaning on the emotional side. For a lot of reasons that are out of my control.

Sunday night I bawled my bloody eyes out. I just sat on my bed and was completely real with God. I cried about everything that's been bothering me and making my heart ache and making me worry.

And He reminded me to trust Him. I ended the night by just reading His Word and fell fast asleep.

He's so good. And everything He does is good. Yeah, the world is going to be crap because we're running it and we're not perfect. But He'll straighten out everything and turn it around for good when everything just makes me want to cry. I can trust Him because I know He loves me and He has a plan for me. Even though I can't see it. Everything is going to be just fine.

 And right now all I see is sand. But this desert has an ocean up ahead...I just haven't reached the shoreline yet. But it's beautiful. I can feel it. 

FREAKING OUT.

Things are not going as planned these days...er..these years.

Aye yi yi.

xo

Please check out this video of Priscilla Ahn. I'm in love with her clear melodic voice. Watch the whole thing....I'm so impressed. She's so talented and did all the music and singing herself right there in front of the camera. I wish I could make such pretty sounds happen.

While you're at it, look up William Fitzsimmons. His music is awesome.

Hope your weekend looks bright and cheery! It's about to rain here.

Cheers. xo

Riding the roller coaster...

Lately I've been rather emotional. More than my usual. I can't really put my finger on why. I have several inklings....like my love interest is still another two months away from reach, my life is a desert, my little brother moved out and is getting married in a couple weeks, my twin brothers are getting so old...they're the age I was when I left my home for the first time......

I've been home for 2 years this May. I don't have much to show for it. Mostly just a lot of jobs on my resume and beauty school debt (I'm a beauty school drop out) and some random paintings sitting on the floor. I know this is good time to be home, to spend my last few years with my family before I spread my wings for the last time and fly. Before my world turns into something I've never experienced.

It's a hard road. With lots of tears and long days. But I know all this waiting is good. It makes you stronger and more appreciative of the times when you're not waiting.

I have my fingers crossed and I'm holding my breath for it all to end.
I'll wait the two months for the weekend in April. And then I'll wait another four months for the next weekend.
Til then. I'm still here.
Wandering. xo.

Strength comes from waiting. -Jose Marti

Honest Abe.

I picked up a wooden plaque from the thrift store the other day. One of those seriously out of date wall decor items that everyone passes over.

The reason I picked it up was because of what a quality guy Abraham Lincoln was. When life was screaming at him over and over, "GIVE UP!" He never did. He pushed through and never gave up...No matter what happened. When everyone and everything around him was calling him a failure, he dreamed of success. And... He was.

Life screams at me a lot. Things like....I'm a floundering person, I'm not going anywhere and I'm not amounting to anything. My life is like a desert...flat and dry without a water source in eye sight. And I sometimes need reminders that life isn't always going to be discouraging.

Thanks, Abe.

Bad photo, I know.

I painted the top of the wood with a peachy pink and then painted around the metal with black. 

I banged the gold plate a bit and sand papered it as well.

I think it's a bit quirky, which is what I was going for. 

Cheers. xo