Alfred Lord Tennyson had a point..

It's been a week since my fingers have hit the keys of a laptop in attempts to free my mind. Maybe I'm being selfish with my thoughts and haven't wanted to share. Or maybe the thoughts are just happy staying secret rather than floating around in cyberspace for anyone to pick at. Or maybe I just haven't had anything to say.

I would say the last is the case.

I've continued to have abnormal dreams...Which is a sidenote.... And have been thinking a lot about love and feelings and the heart. And Jesus. Because it seems to me that He's the only One who makes it all work together well.

Here is something I wrote last week on the topic:

"What does it mean to love someone?

Sometimes I'm not always sure. I feel like I love people, but do I really love them? Is it just a feeling I have? Or is it true?

What if I'm being selfish? Do I not love the other person then? Or does that just mean I love myself more than the other person? Does that make my love not true? Does that make my love trivial? Irrelevant? Insignificant?

I've realized that I love God and love others better when I'm in relationship with God. Which makes sense. Because if I'm in relationship with God, then I'm full of Him. Which means I'm full of Love. God's always in me, so I always have love in my heart. But maybe, by being lazy and slacking on my communication with Jesus, I am not able to tap into the Love as well as I would when I'm spending time with Him. Therefore I'm not loving others well. Or giving the love back to God."

I definitely think loving others (and God) comes more naturally when I'm in relationship with God, as I stated above. Also, making the choice to love, I think, is vital as well. Because we're human and we still don't always feel like loving...and that's where the predetermined choice can be of some help. Because sometimes (and a lot of times) I'm just selfish and don't feel like loving.... 

But loving is always the better choice.
Our hearts get involved, we give a piece of ourselves to others. It's all a little scary...the vulnerability that puts us in. The outcome could be pain and heartbreak, it's true. I, having partaken of the pain of rejected love and disappointment, know the excruciating result of heartbreak. But having gone through that, I still think loving  and losing is better than never loving at all. 

Because that is what we are called to do. Love. 

And by some chance that the love proves to be true.....makes all of it worth it. 

Because Love made me. Love saved me. And Love is keeping me alive...

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 
-Alfred Lord Tennyson