I was a blur.

This photo portrays myself really well. It especially exemplifies the way that I felt at the time of the photo. And how I've been up to recently. I can remember very little from the summer of '09 and up 'til a couple months ago. I, of course, remember moments with my love interest. And all my job hoppings. And random happenings in my life. But mostly all I can remember is being depressed, broken and...lost. I moved home very unsure of myself. Whereas just a few months prior, I was very confident, incredibly happy and I knew what I wanted. But when your heart breaks....it can shatter everything you know....including what you know about yourself. I lost trust in myself and stopped believing in me. Everything I had once thought became a question. I became a blur. And I was drowning in my own misery.

Slowly your heart heals. There are scars, of course. When anyone's heart is ripped into two, piecing it back together takes time and work. And that faint pink mark where the skin was mended will possibly always be there. But there's always scar medication you can apply to erase the last traces of the reminder.

I've learned a lot in the past year. About myself, about God and about others. Though I've healed and learned, I still have problems doubting myself. And trusting has become something that takes a lot more effort. But Jesus knew about this. He's always brought Proverbs 3:5-6 to my memory, time and time again, all growing up. I could never figure out why this was so important. Until I lost trust in everything. And now I know why He kept reminding me to trust Him. Because He made the stars. He feeds the sparrows. He'll take care of me. And apply the scar medication on my heart's cracks.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding.

 In all your ways  acknowledge Him,

 and He will direct your path. 

Proverbs 3:5-6